Kelley’s Story
How one woman overpowered her sexually abusive past to inspire and coach other survivors.
Guest Post by Kelley Porter — get free updates of new posts here.
I was introduced to incest at the age of eight by a sister who was five years older than me.
You must wonder where she learned that type of behavior… my father molested her when she was only four years old. Not only did he molest her, but he also “pimped” her out to older men.
My sister (Melissa Lisa Porter) was a beautiful woman who is now resting, as she died last year. The pain she experienced was far more than her person could handle. Her story is mine, only I am here to tell mine, be a voice for victims of child abuse, provide healing through my books, speaking engagements, and coaching practice.
Directly after the incest, my sister forced me to engage in sexual activities with other girls and boys in the neighborhood. This went on for a few years and by the time I turned 11 years old, I began seeking the pleasure my body never forgot.
From Bad To Worse
Between these events, there was a man named “Nippy” who lived with us. He was alleged to be Lisa’s “boyfriend” — the truth was, he was an adult who molested Lisa and paid our father. Nippy first exposed his naked body to me (and blamed me for it) when I was just nine years old.
By the time I turned thirteen, my mother left our house to move in with her new boyfriend, leaving me behind. I then moved in with my oldest sibling where Nippy lived… that’s when the sexual, physical, verbal and emotional abuse hit rock bottom.
Nippy repeatedly came into the dining area where I slept at night and molested me. I never said a word as I remember my father blamed me for Nippy’s previous behavior. I was afraid and confused as I had no idea what sex was. I remember awaking the next day and asking my sister, “What is this white stuff coming from my vagina?”
My sister responded, “Discharge.”
Time moved on and for almost a year, Nippy continued to molest me in the dining room. I distinctly recall the very last time it happened. He told me to get up and come in the living room. He removed all of my clothing and told me to lie down on the couch directly above Lisa as she slept on the floor. He then kicked Lisa, she awoke and responded, “What the f*** are you doing Kelley?”
She then awoke my oldest sibling and they beat me.
The police were called, but Nippy was gone by the time they arrived. The emotional, physical and verbal abuse continued until I tried to commit suicide months later. I took a handful of pills (I have no idea what they were) and no help was offered as I was continuously physically and verbally abused. Eventually, we were evicted due to my siblings’ drug use.
A Teenage Prisoner
At age 15, I had nowhere to turn… except to Nippy. He lived with his aunt, but somehow managed to hide me from her by confining me to one room. I was literally his prisoner. He repeatedly drugged and raped me.
When I was 18, I learned my mom had left her boyfriend and moved in with her parents. I wanted out!
I carefully planned my escape, but when Nippy learned of my attempt to leave, he shot at my foot and threatened to beat me. My dear friend (and guardian angel) Angela Cowan came to my rescue and helped me escape to my grandparents’ home.
My Journey of Healing
By the time I turned 20, I was severely depressed. Understanding that I was not responsible for the abuse I endured was an incredibly difficult realization for me. Over the next eight years, I spiraled into a desperate state:
- I dated married men.
- I slept with over 100 men, numerous women, abused alcohol and was completely lost.
- I had absolutely no self-love, respect or confidence.
A people pleaser at my core, I simply desired to be loved.
I crossed a milestone at age 28 when I finally forgave all those who abused me.
I was free. But, who was I?
Over the next 10 years, I dated men who were emotionally and physically abusive. I thought that’s what relationships were all about. I was conditioned to accept the abuse.
At age 38, I finally shared my story and disclosed my abusive past to a good friend. That same amazing friend advised me to write a book. “Okay,” I thought to myself. “I can do this.”
My first book, “Perfectly Planned“, was a cathartic endeavor, as it provided me a venue in which to finally share — and virtually exorcise — the full details of my story of incest, rape and child abuse.
Having conquered nearly 30 years of abuse (i.e., incest, rape, sexual, physical, emotional, verbal abuse, and two domestic violence relationships), I decided to channel those toxic experiences into a positive outlet for other abuse survivors. Today, I am a certified life coach, author and speaker. What happened, didn’t happen TO me… It happened FOR me. I have come out on the other side! My life mission is to guide others to design a healthy, meaningful life through knowledge, consciousness, self-reflection, accountability, self-love and forgiveness.
I would not be who I am today had it not been for my life’s experiences. I am grateful and I AM.
More About #CoachKelley
Author, Certified Life Coach and Speaker Kelley Porter Turner offers specifically tailored coaching programs to child abuse survivors who wish to gain a deeper understanding of who they are and how they, too, can heal and thrive. She hosts “Silence No More” seminars throughout the country and has written two books “Perfectly Planned” and “Overcoming Toxic Relationships”, and released the “Perfectly Planned Workbook” to help others who experienced child abuse conquer the fallout and live a healthy lifestyle. Connect with Kelley on her website, blog, Facebook and Twitter. #CoachKelley 🙂
About Ginger
Working to improve the world one child at a time, Ginger has made it her life mission to raise awareness of the world-wide epidemic of child abuse. An impassioned child advocate, trainer, speaker and child forensic interviewer, Ginger regularly blogs about child protection issues and has released a report for parents and other caring adults, “10 Scary Apps.” Ginger can be contacted via her website “Ginger Kadlec: BeAKidsHero™” at BeAKidsHero.com or find her on Facebook at facebook.com/gingergkadlec.
You can also connect with Ginger via other social media at:
- Twitter: twitter.com/GingerKadlec
- Pinterest: pinterest.com/gingerkadlec
- LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/gingerkadlec
